So I really haven’t had much time to put together a blog post lately, but I just wanted to take a minute and just give a little bit of an update of what’s going on in my life. This week God has been doing some awesome things in my life and speaking to me so much. So, lately I’ve really been into checking out online sermons and this week I listened to so many good ones. One of my favorites that I love to check out is the elevation church weekly sermon. (you can find it at elevationchurch.com) I love listening to Steven Furtick preach and this week was actually a message focused around his new book and there were just amazing testimonies that really spoke to me personally. One of the parts that really stuck with me from the message this week was a prayer from his book for the youth and inexperienced. The prayer reads: 

“I pray that you won’t just be part of the crowd, but that you will begin to lead it. I pray that people who have been influencing you to a lesser life will be changed by the influence of the greater life you are stepping in to. I pray that every voice that has labeled you as anything other than a beloved son or beloved daughter will be silenced and that you will believe only what your father God has aid about you.” 

    I just love that. I can’t wait to share it with some of the girls that I counseled this summer.

      Another message that I listened to this week was by Jennifer Hunt and it was on the MACU (Mid America christian university) website. (macu.edu) Jennifer preached an awesome message about hiding and used a incredible testimony to do so. It was quite an encouraging story for me personally just to see how she had overcame so much. Awesome really. 

     I must say though, that my favorite message I’ve listened to/ viewed this week was another message I saw via the MACU website. It was by a woman named Leslie Lamb, and she preached a message about how God is intentional. First of all I found it interesting listening to Leslie because I pretty much found that her and I have basically the same interests and as she spoke I couldn’t help but think, “Whoa, she’s describing me. Dead on….” But as she spoke about how God is intentional and how puts us in certain situations for a purpose it really just calmed my heart. I’ve been pretty questioning with God about why things in my life are going the way they are right now, because honestly this is never how I would’ve imagined my life going. However, time and time again in the past 3 and a half months God has confirmed with me over and over that he’s in charge and this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m not in school right now, I can’t seem to find a job, and to be quite honest I just feel like a bum. lol. However, with my extra free time lately I’ve found myself seeking out God more and more and spending more time digging in to his word and worshiping him. I don’t know why things didn’t work out to where I could’ve started school this semester. I don’t know why I can’t find a job. I don’t know so many things, but I do for sure know one thing, that God is in control of my life. He’s leading me, and comforting me through this time, and maybe, just maybe he’s let these things happen in my life because I needed to learn to trust him more. I know that I tend to try to be a control freak when it comes to my life and these past few months have really challenged me to give everything over to God and trust that he’s in control.  I don’t know exactly why things have happened the way they have lately, but for now I’m holding on to Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

      Tenth Avenue North just came out with a CD entitled The Struggle, and it really got me thinking about my life and what I struggle with. According to Dictionary.com struggle is a verb meaning: fight, wrestle, strive, combat, content or battle. Let me be very honest in saying I struggle with many things in my life. Often times people can get the misconception that once you become saved you no longer have hardships and struggles, but truth is, as much as I wish that were true, it’s not. Christians struggle just as much as anyone else in the world. My list of struggles is a lengthy one even. It includes, but is not limited to things like:

-fear

-worry

-doubt

-insecurity

-self-image

-sin

-temptations

-faith

-fitting in

-reading my Bible and doing a daily devotion

- loving others the way that Jesus did

-patience

-staying awake in class…

- falling asleep at night

- sometimes staying awake during prayer

- math. 

- sometimes I struggle with understanding concepts

- paying attention

- staying on topic

      I mean seriously the list goes on and on and on and just looking at it is a little bit of overwhelming. I honestly didn’t realize I struggled with so much in my life until I wrote it all down. Now, don’t get me wrong, this is not me saying that I have a lot of hardships in my life. Let me be very clear. My life is awesome. I am so blessed and I know that looking at my life and some of the things I struggle with, there are so many little things. I am so entirely thankful that I’m not struggling with so many things that people are struggling with today.

      In my own life I know people struggling with cancer, arthritis, and various other health problems. I know some people struggling with homosexuality. I know some who are struggling with alcohol and drug addictions. I know that there are so many people in the world who are struggling just to survive another day. People who struggle with abuse, people who struggle to find clean water. My struggles are so petty compared to these and it really puts into perspective for me how blessed I really am. 

      Truth is though, we all deal with struggles no matter how big or small, so I opened up my Bible to see what this great book had to say about our struggles in life. 

     The first verses I came across, which I love, are 2 Corinthians 12 verses 9 and 10. 

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (NIV)

I love this because it encourages us that although we may have struggles and they can make us weak, spiritually or physically, God’s power is made perfect in our weakness and hardships. Another verse I found dealing with the topic of struggle is 1 Corinthians 10:13. 

¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. (NIV)

     This verse deals more with the struggle of sin and temptations and encourages us in the fact that God will not let us  be tempted beyond what we can bear, but He will provide a way out. I loved that and found it’s a verse that I need to remember more in my life. 

      No matter what you may be struggling with in your life, no matter how great or small your struggle is, remember that God is faithful and will help you overcome. I encourage you to meditate on these verses tonight and lift your struggles up to God. Spend some time talking to him about what you’re going through and let him make you strong and help you overcome!

Well, for some reason I feel the need to do a quote post. I recently found a bunch of new quotes that I love, so I figured I’d share them. Enjoy!

* “Nothing is permanent in this world. Not even our troubles.” -Charlie Chaplin

* “Be truthful, gentle, and fearless.” -Gandhi

* “If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl

*” The quieter you become, the more you can hear” -unknown

* “What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.” - Unknown

* “Never be afraid to fall apart because it is an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish  you had been all along.” - Rae Smith

* “Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” - Unknown

* “I myself am entirely made of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” -unknown

* “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” -e.e. Cummings

* “Sometimes you just need that one person who will let you talk and ramble, listen to you complain and look like and idiot, but still love you all the same.” - Unknown

* “If we all understood that everyone has their own battles to fight, insecurities to face, love to content, and goals to attain, the world would be a gentler place. -Unknown

* “We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, it’s to create something that will.” -Unknown

* “My wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big. And your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you’re out there getting to where you’re getting to, I hope you know that somebody loves you. And wants the same thing too.” -Rascal flatts

      Forgiveness. That’s a big concept in life. Often times, in my life, I find that forgiveness can be a confusing thing. You see, when it comes to forgiving other people in my life, I usually find it very easy. Maybe it’s because I was taught growing up to always forgive, or maybe it’s simply because I haven’t been hurt to the same extent that other people have. I don’t know, but forgiveness seems to come effortlessly to me. (Well, most of the time anyways…)

      However, when the sides flip and I am the person asking or needing forgiveness, I seem to struggle much more. I think this is due to my thought process that no matter how many times a person assures me that I’ve been forgiven by them, I still know that they remember what I did, and that maybe for some reason it will or does make them view me differently. Do you know that feeling? It’s like the when you lie to your parents about something and then they are hesitant to believe anything you say for a while because you have to earn back their trust. 

      I think it’s almost just a natural response to us as humans. I even find myself in situations where I have to kind of be suspicious about something because of someone hurting me or deceiving me at a previous time. 

     Let me give you a recent example: 

      This summer, my best friend Brittany and I counseled a cabin together at a summer camp. Often times when me and Brit were in the cabin I would turn on my ipod and we, along with our cabin girls, would just hang out and listen to music or dance around. Well, one day Brit was going to the cabin with a few of the girls and asked if she could turn on my ipod and use it while they were down there. I agreed, and in about 30 minutes when the whole camp was meeting up to sing some songs before lunch, she had the ipod with her. (Which wasn’t a problem, but is a crucial part of the story.) 

     You see, the band was playing some songs and Nancy, the camp director, had asked me to run the lyric slides while the kids and counselors danced and sang along to the songs. I happily agreed and sat in the front of the chapel at the computer to run the slides. Well, let me go ahead and say that the kids and especially the counselors really get into singing and dancing. So Brit, who was wearing overall’s, had my ipod in the front pocket and as she was dancing around it fell to the ground with a crash. 

    Now I, running the slides, have to sit in front facing away from the kids. So I had no clue this happened until about 5 minutes later when Brit walked up to the desk an said, “Bert, I’m so sorry.” And with that, she handed me my ipod face down. 

      Words can’t really describe how confused I was at the moment. However, as I flipped the ipod over and saw multiple cracks in the screen, it suddenly made sense. 

      To be quite honest, I was really bummed out at that moment. However, before the day was over, I ended up forgiving her. Although, I will admit that I am much more careful about who I let touch my stuff, and when she asked to hold my $500 camera later that week, I had to go with a, “not right now” line. ;)

     You see, that’s the thing about us compared to God. We tend to remember how people have wronged or broke us (or our things!) in the past and we are usually more hesitant to let those people back in our lives (or allow them to use our things).

      However, I am so thankful for a God who, when we ask for forgiveness, not only forgives us, but remembers our past no more. Hebrews 8:12 reads:

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

      What an awesome and encouraging verse. No matter what mistakes we have made in our past, we are forgiven and cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. Our sins are no longer remembered and we are FREE. Even though sometimes we feel like our lives are shattered because of a sin we have committed or if we feel like no one could ever love or accept us again, God is there to love us, forgive us, and free us from our sins. He remember them no more, not now, not ever, and hopefully that will give you some encouragement tonight. 

In the words of Mike Donehey, from Tenth Avenue North, God is not an Elephant.

      Back in my freshman year of high school, my cousin Elizabeth was getting married and I was asked to be a bridesmaid in the wedding. She was having a mid-December wedding, but as a bridesmaid I had to take part in the dress-picking out before hand. Elizabeth decided that she wanted all of her bridesmaids to wear different dresses, but all in the same color. (It just so happened to be red, which I hate.) The rest of the bridesmaids had gotten together and tried on dresses together, however as I was younger than them and still in school, I had to wait and go a different day. I remember going to the shop with my aunt and mom to pick which dress I liked best. (And for the record, just let me say that I despise shopping, especially when it comes to trying on clothes). Turns out, the dress that I liked 2 other (out of a total 5) bridesmaids had picked the same one as the dress they liked best.

      Long story short, we all agreed to get the same dress opposed to all of us wearing different ones. However, my family was struggling a little bit financially at the time, so we hesistated on ordering the dress that day, hoping that maybe we could find it somewhere online cheaper.

      Turn out, we couldn’t. We were bummed, because honestly dresses can get expensive, not to mention that my brother was also in the wedding and had to rent a tux and we really needed a new couch. (Not to mention they had also just paid for my sister’s wedding a few months before-hand).  We knew we could make it though because we always seemed to.

      The next Saturday my dad went out and somehow he ended up at a storage bin auction looking for a couch. He planned to come back home afterward to pick mom and I up and take us out to the dress shop afterwards so we could order the dress I needed. Now, if you know anything about how storage bin auctions work, you can’t move things around to look inside of the bins. You just have to go by what you see really. So while Dad was out he ended up seeing a big storage bin with a cough right on top. It was in pretty good shape, so he bough it for only $15 bucks and then went to search through his findings.

      Now, this is the part of the story where things get a little bit odd… As dad was going through the storage bin, he found the exact dress I needed, in the exact color I needed, and it was the exact size I needed.

     WOW. You know, sometimes I just can’t help but smile and thank God for the way that he provides for us. The other night I was doing a devotion focusing on the way that God provides our needs for us. It centered on the verse Philippians 4:19 which reads, “And my God shall supply all your need according to His rishes in glory by Christ Jesus.”

      God is so awesome. Just recently I also found out a way that God was working to supply one of my needs. Lately I’ve been stressing out about how I’m going to afford college. It’s a big expense and I didn’t want to have to drown myself in student loans, especially my first year.

       The other day though, I recieved a letter about my KEES sholarship which is a scholarship that every student in Kentucky who attended a Kentucky high school gets, based on their high school GPA. I knew that tuition for my first semester of college would be $2,100, and when I opened my scholarship to see how much money I had earned the amount read $2,118. I was $18 over what I needed.

      So I was talking to my dad about it, and was at least assured that my first semester of college would be taken care of with my KEES scholarship and a book scholarship that I recieved from his company. Well, then he reminded me that my great aunt, who passed away a couple years ago, also left my brother and I $2,000 to go toward our college education. I am officially less than $100 away from paying for my whole first year of college, and the rest can be paid through money I recieved from my graduation party.

     I can’t help but to say thank God! I am so thankful for a God who provides for our needs financially, spiritually and physically. God is so good!!!